Rank's theoretic conflict with Freud excluded him from the Freudian inner circle; nonetheless, he later developed the psychodynamic Object relations theory in Psychosexual infantilism—Despite mother being the parent who primarily gratifies the child's desires , the child begins forming a discrete sexual identity—"boy", "girl"—that alters the dynamics of the parent and child relationship; the parents become objects of infantile libidinal energy.
The inability to be happy in a couple relationship, repetition compulsion, giving the impression of a loss of control, and the centering of an existence that only focuses on a single preoccupation; these elements — associated with a painful sense of failure — are often at the origin of a request for treatment. We confronted them with the ambivalence that we had acquired in our own families and with its help, we struggled with them as we had been in the habit of struggling with our fathers Whereas a boy develops castration anxiety , a girl develops penis envy , for she perceives that she has been castrated previously and missing the penis , and so forms resentment towards her own kind as inferior, while simultaneously striving to claim her father's penis through bearing a male child of her own.
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But as soon as the sexual act has taken place, certain subjects can be gripped by sadness, remorse, as well as by feelings of shame, and guilt. It is often the sense of marginalization and loss of meaning that forces recognition of the dependency.
Reactions of shame, disgust, and guilt being much less frequent in the borderline, personality organization often present in these subjects.
The danger being that external images come little by little to replace fantasies produced from within. It is the fate of all of us, perhaps, to direct our first sexual impulse towards our mother and our first hatred and our first murderous wish against our father.